O Desideratum

"O Desideratum" is a poem by Matthew S. Breslau. It was first published on April 7th, 2018.

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As I gazed at your eyes And saw you do much of the same, For an instant I felt as though I understood. This could be real– Despite just how surreal it is. Though lachrymose I’ve been and lachrymose I’ll be, With you I have never a moment of dolor. The pounding rings in my mind are quelled by the Astounding rings on your lips– The humming sound of your quiet laugh Encircles me and does more to mollify this Ever-looming tickle of rage At having been Scorned, Beaten, Cheated… Than anything else ever has. The opening of discussion betwixt us Shan’t be misinterpreted for argument– We are the same; Though you have much more merit. O desideratum, Concupiscible as you are, You enervate me, You worry me, You frighten me. Though it is not at your touch or at your word That I am craven, But at my own genuineness And willingness to risk pain To be honest with you about How much you mean to me. The screams are persistent. “You will fail.” “You will fall.” “You are nothing.” But if your eyes could tell me a story, The story they’d tell Would be much the opposite. You took my hand once. On pretense or pity, I know not– But you took it, and you took it willingly. Take it again. Take it always. Take it now. Take me away.