A Tale of Christmas 2012

"A Tale of Christmas 2012" is a poem by Matthew S. Breslau. It was first published on November 25th, 2018.

Text
Once upon an eve intrepid As I sat and festered, tepid, Longing for a way outside of Sadness that she gave, I thought it fit to see another And said to myself, “O Brother, Here is yet a second way that Life says ‘don’t behave.’” Under influence I caved. Christmas was no inhibition. She instead made it her mission To throw all my trust away And slay a tongue with hers– As the movement came and went The door swung back; in came a gent Who informed me of the romp He’d had with she who wore my spurs. Both of them I labeled curs. That night I yelled with sickened tones To mock her for the pleasured moans She likely had elicited from He who felt the guilt. She cried and said apologies But this did not deliver ease; Instead I pointed toward the door. She left with sorrowed tilt. Her voice, it wore a plaintive lilt. I suffered to enter my brain To try and make sense of the pain– I wanted so badly to leave And cause her solitude. But anxiety rose up And amid a hoarse hiccup I realized I was too scared To depart from her imbued With any sense of attitude. Despite my feelings to the contrary, I stayed put, though I was wary Of the possibility Of being spurned again. I took my troubles with me one day On a bright and wintry Sunday As I entered work and saw you As the clock struck ten. I filled the time sheet with your pen. You asked me how I’d been of late. My frown gave off the searing hate I felt for she who plunged her hand Inside my chest and clawed– You asked me if I’d like to chat And said it would be nice, at that, As long as we could do it in a place With no eyes awed After eavesdropping abroad. Satisfied with trust for me You made suggestions to dilly And dally to my place of living After work was through. I nodded in earnest and smiled Not simply for a chance to while Away the time discussing things, But also due to you– Your lovely self, on me it grew. That night you questioned all my thoughts And soon enough, it came–I wrought A description of the blackened gash She left inside my soul. You cursed her with me, placing hands Upon mine with a gentle scan Of both my eyes with yours In such a way that I felt whole. Then you told me of your goal. You said intently that you felt For me a feeling that you dealt To me with gracious purpose At a time I felt destroyed. This destruction so entangled In me, I felt truly mangled, But in hearing your words I fell joyous, now your toy. This too was felt by this dumb boy. As silence grew around us large A gentle urge, it tossed and barged Against our hearts–yours empathetic, Mine truly in lust. The world around my eyelids vanished. Light for four seconds was banished As my lips and yours engaged And intertwined with trust. Knowing this, I fell to dust. On that day, you saved my heart. I’ve always kept you as a part Of my life, but now I admit I need to make this clear: At every turn that I’ve been able, You have been happy and stable And I wished not to intrude on You, but now you’re here. I want you as mine, my dear. ""